Friday, July 29, 2011
Coming Out of Hiding
I'll admit it, I have been hiding and for quite a while now. Which is in part of the reason it has taken me so long to write this post. I have also been busy but not so much that I couldn't take the time to write. I am going to admit to you what I have been allowing myself to believe for years now. I thought I was a fake. I didn't even know it till last night. I have believed the lies of Satan that I was just a fake Christian. That every kind thing I have done, every act of worship and every praise that I have given my Savior was fake. Satan has been whispering to me for years that everything I have been doing to give honor to the Lord was just for show and that if people really knew me, they would know that I wasn't a real Christian because I didn't have the relationship with Jesus like normal Christians. But that is not true and I will not believe the lie anymore. I am a Christian and I give my life to Jesus everyday. I serve people every way I know possible not because I want people to see but because I have given my life over to Jesus. I want to be transformed to look more like Him and if people see my good deeds that they would give glory to God for allowing me to do whatever He has blessed me with the ability to do. If you are struggling with this feeling I would pray and encourage you to seek lots of prayer from family and your minsters and church family. This is key in breaking down the wall that Satan puts up around your heart. While a good portion of my church family was in Colorado this week at the NYR (National Youth RoundUp) I was alone at the church cleaning a lot. I don't do silence well so I broke out my iPhone and download some podcast from College Heights Christian Church, my home church in Joplin. By allowing myself the time to truly listen to what the Lord was speaking to my heart and through talks I had with our youth minster, I was able to see for the first time since my divorce, that God is still wanting to use me. He wants to use a broken hearted divorced woman to show others that you can come out of places you never thought you'd be in and transform your life with His power. You wants to use YOU! As most of you know, Joplin suffered a major storm. I would say ninety percent of my family lives in or on the borders of Joplin. God will use the broken hearts of Joplin for healing and show people His glory. How amazing it was to listen to Randy talk about how the Church (meaning God's people not just CHCC) were able to help so many people during this disaster in there lives. I pray for you now, reading this. Allow God to work in your life. If you have be baptized since birth and never swore a day in your life and if you a broken hearted widow like Ruth, allow the Lord to be the ruler of your life and see all the blessings He has in store for you.