Time for a Job Change

I am sitting at the computer again trying to think up ways to make extra money. I have had lots of ideas, some that are even pretty good, others that I may still try out. However, I realized that maybe the reason I am not making any money is because that is not what God has called me to do. Maybe he really did call me all the years ago when I dedicated my life to missions to serve on the missions field. So here I am 30, and deciding it's to finally listen and pull a Jonah! 

I am not exactly sure what I'll be doing and how much right away but I know I am called to serve and NOW is the time to start. I forgot to say where, did I? I know that is always important to find out where someone is! Joplin is where I'll be answering the call. The lost are here in this city and they are my neighbors. I was created to tell other people about Christ and His love and I can only do that by loving and befriending the people I see everyday. 

I'm kinda scared. I know who I'll seek out first. His family is the reason I was able to be drawn to Christ in the first place. Jay and Julie St. Clair are home to me. I know with their and my families support I know I will be able to serve Christ and fulfill my calling in life.

It's About That Time of Year!

If you are thinking back to school, then you are kinda right but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about my birthday! (Imagine me saying like Rapunzel in Tangled) It is a little over a month away and here lately I have really been struggling internally about birthday parties. I have no problem when people throw family birthday parties for their kids or when they scheme elaborate surprise parties that cost hundreds of dollar. Whatever works for your family is best for you.

 This year I'd like to invite everyone to celebrate my birthday! Wait, what? You live across the big ocean? We went to high school together and you always thought I was judge-y and weird? Yeah, that was true. But I want us to celebrate because I'm turning 30! We may have cake and I'll go out to eat with my family but I am thinking present right now! Guess what? I already know what I want! You are in luck because I am going to tell you.... Right now! I have two ideas for you. I'd like you to get some groceries and head to Watered Garden Rescue Mission and drop them off. They need everything right now. Don't worry about waiting for my birthday if you get paid tomorrow and it works better for you. You can also help by texting "Irescue1" to 501501 and make your $5 donation today. How easy did I make my birthday gift? 

Now for my friends who live further than a gas tank away from Joplin, MO, please help out your local mission. Here is a helpful link that you can just click on and it will help you locate the food pantries near you! 

So now that you know, let's make a difference! These are children, men and women in our home towns that are going to bed hungry and we can help!

Please if you decide to celebrate with me this year, I'd love to get pictures of your family dropping off food or supplies or even gift cards. Thanks so much for thinking outside the box this year!

Insecure

Have you been there? So insecure that you wonder if you'll ever have true friends or the people you think are your friends really like you. Where I am now, is where I am praying you will never be. Trying to be perfect is impossible but sometimes your heart just refuses to listen to logic. I even know why I have been trying to be perfect. I am trying to make up for my past. You know that past that is gone, that Jesus completely wiped cleaned, yeah that one. I am so insecure about it. I feel like people still see me as that girl who had an affair. Why can I not forgive myself when I know others have? I know the shackle of this sin is open but I just haven't been able to remove it. I wake up ever day and try and figure out how I can atone for my past. Who can I help, what can I clean, what can I give up to somehow cover up every wrong doing that has been shared by the gossip of many. So why am I blogging this, you may ask? Well the reason is two fold. One, I am working on handing this baggage over to The Lord. I have been searching His word and studying as I seek to turn this over to Him. This is way more difficult than I ever imaged it would be. Not because He isn't willing, but because every day I am having to give it back over and over again because my insecurities get the best of me. Second, I want others to know that people who may seem to have it all together struggle with a sin such as pride and forgiveness. My youth minister, my senior year of high school, said something to me that I'll never forget. I'll leave you with it: "What makes your sin so great that Jesus can't forgive you?"

Waiting to Live

It seems like here lately, all I have been doing is waiting. I have been waiting for the kids to get older so we can play more. I have been waiting for Graham to be in school so I can start a few projects I have in mind. I have been waiting to do pretty much anything big around the house in hopes that we will find out we get to move to the house we are trying to buy. Guess what, I am done waiting! I am going to keep living my life and let thing just happen. When the house people call, great but I am going to be busy cleaning and cooking and playing with the kids. I am not going to be sitting there by the phone, chewing my nails down.Graham is going to be along for the ride on my projects and we are going to have a blast. Things have not always turned out how I expected them so why sit around and wait? What if the house falls through? Would I just quit and stop living and existing? There for awhile it felt like that. I lost all my motivation to cook, clean even read! So, here I go! I am diving back into life. I am going to enjoy every second and make my time intentional! I am going to start budgeting and meal planning, making a list for my days and not letting Graham watch TV all day! Who's with me? Who wants to make everyday count?!

Giving Back!

This is totally huge for me! Since my 30th birthday is coming up... in like 5 months, I thought you might want to be prepared! *wink, wink* So today I decided that I wanted to think of some cool gifts since my awesome sister has been asking me for party ideas and I really like to be prepared!  This Christmas we were able to give some gifts in the kids name to the Gospel of Asia. It was really cool to know that the kids have gifts given in their name! 
So onto my birthday... this year I challenge you to think outside the box for your gifts! If you are wanting some new clothes, check out Sevenly! I got one of these shirts last year for Valentine's Day and I love it!
Each week they select a charity or people group who needs donations and they make these totally awesome shirts that go along with the way you are helping by purchasing one of this limited edition Tee's or Sweatshirts! Seriously, who doesn't love a great conversation piece shirt that helps other people!!! I know Tom's are all the rage but these are amazing! These orange Tom's are so cute and were collaborated with the Charlize Theron Africa Outreach Project. Lush is another awesome project that is helping to change people's worlds with purchase! They sell high quality skin care products that a portion goes to some really important charities. Their charity pots allow you the option to pick from a four organizations to help. 

If you want to find more gifts that you can ask for or gift for your friends and family, check out my pinterest board! I will be updating this and looking for more gifts we can give to make a difference!!!

New to Church

Today I watched a few new people at church. I am fairly certain I haven't seen them around but for some reason I was drawn to watching them. They were in my line of sight while singing so it wasn't like I was seeking them out. They looked mildly uncomfortable and for a few reasons they may have stuck out. They came in during the worship and people smiled and said hello as they made there way to their seats and I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like for a "un-churched" person to enter into such a house of Worship. The music was loud and some people would be overly friendly just to make sure they weren't rude. 

What would it be like to have never been to church before? I noticed one guy kept looking around. Our church building is large and decorated very tastefully so I am guessing he kept thinking about how large it was and how high the ceilings were. I wonder what would go on in his heart as our preacher spoke about different walls that are put up in our society. How people groups stick with there own culture of people. 

Is the church showing Jesus to new comers? When people walk do we shove Jesus down their throat or do we make him so "pretty" that coming to Jesus is just like winning the lotto? I am not sure were we are as a Church right now, but I totally know were I want the church to be! I want people to see Jesus' love shining out when they walk in the door. Not overwhelming but pure, untainted compassion for what is going on his or her life. I wish I could have met the new people today but I had other and I was glad to see  others from the church were speaking to them. I hope they saw Christ's face when His church spoke to them today.

L'Oreal Paris Magic B.B. Cream Review!

Thanks to SheSpeaks and L'Oreal I was able to try their new Pairs Magic B.B. Cream! 
Let me start by saying I am not a huge make-up gal, but I loved L'Oreal's Paris Magic B.B. Cream! I was totally hesitant because it's name ever sounded strange to me, but it was great.
I started off fresh out of the shower with my squeaky clean face and squirted a small amount of the fair cream into my hands and gently covered my face and honestly, it looked like the $35 stuff my sister buys at the expensive store at the mall! I think magic totally fits the bill since my face looked smooth and flawless! I didn't have to reapply later in the day and my face never dried out or felt greasy. When I run out of the sample that SheSpeaks sent me, I am going to be running to the store to pick up some more! And for only around $10.95 a bottle you might just want to pick up your own shade too!

No More AWKWARD!

Have you ever been there? Maybe you know me personally and know that I can be awkward. Maybe you are awkward yourself. Seems to me, I end up in a lot of awkward situations but mostly I attribute that to God having an amazing sense of humor! Well, last night I had a dream and if you dream a lot like me, then you have some super weird dreams. My dream last night was pretty much the most amazing dream I have ever had. I am not sure if you are a Harry Potter movie fan like me but let's just say if you were Harry Potter and I was Snape, I'd give you my magical dream tears so you could have a glimpse of what I saw last night.
The setting was a long table and it was like a Thanksgiving meal with lots of people but no talking. I knew all the people in this dream. Three people other than myself stick out in the dream. One was a boyfriend from high school. He is a great Christian man who is married with kids and very happy. He smiled the whole dream. Also there was my ex-husband, smiling. He was sitting next to his wife and she smiled also. My husband sat beside me and we smiled. We passed food back and forth and smiled. Not a crazy, weird smile, it was a genuine smile. A smile that exuded peace and forgiveness. If you have never broken someone's heart, you won't know what I mean to have extreme forgiveness and I got it in the dream last night. There was no guilt!
The dream allowed me to experience a tiny bit of Heaven. I totally think there will be talking in Heaven unlike my dream. I believe that the joy and peace I experienced is totally real and true! I woke up and it was as if the feeling lightly faded but I will never forget how amazing it felt and I have to tell you, I am looking forward to being called home to Heaven even more!

Are You a Christian or a Christ-Follower?

Some would say that there is no difference, but lately I have heard about these "Christians" that keep being called out for bad behavior. I don't know some of these people and some are even celebrities who claim to know the One who created the stars but that is not for me to judge. Deciding if you are a Christian or a true Christ-follower is important.  Figuring it out means laying it all out there and seeing who you are choosing to be. Am I choosing to be a person who seeks Jesus and serving His people with every breath I breathe? Do I stop and think about where my money is truly going and if it is helping spread His good news to the broken hearted? Is my light shining in the darkness so that people know Jesus because of the love I have shown? Or do I go to church on Sunday and fight with my spouse all week? Do I quote scriptures out of context and enjoy make people feel guilty? Has my pride become so great that Christ no longer lives in me?
For me, it is a choice everyday to wake up and choose to have a relationship with Christ. To be a Christ-follower to me, means that I seek out the lost and the Word of the Lord comes out of me like a balm on a burn. Healing wounds that always come at much to high a cost. The cost of sin is never worth it but the light that Jesus shines in the darkest parts of our hearts cleans and washes away that pain. Is there someone who needs your love and grace today? Christ wants you to follow Him and show the lost the Way.